I am going to become an storyteller. I have no other plans outside of becoming a story teller. Everything I do is all for this one goal. I have no back up plan, I do not plan on becoming anything but an author. If I fail at that, I have nothing else to work towards. I have no career to go to, no aim in my studies, nothing, and I love it.
Picking this one thing, and putting all that I am into it, is refreshing, and overwhelming at the same time. It encourages me, because I know if I don’t put everything I have into this, I have nothing else to go to. It gets me out of bed each morning, it makes it so I write almost constantly. I don’t want to work a boring 9-5 at Target the rest of my life, but if I fail at writing, that’s what’s waiting for me. Knowing that, scares me into writing when I don’t want to. I can’t make excuses to why I can’t write one day, because it means one day closer to my death, and one day less I have to pursue my dream.
I’m not saying back up plans don’t work for others; I’m just saying they don’t work for me. If I had a back up plan, I would simply fall back to it. Why? Because a back up plan is almost always the easier, safer plan. The plan that doesn’t require innovation, dedication, real thought on my part. Which, looks appealing, at first, but I know I wouldn’t be happy living my life as a back up. I want my life to be the first plan, the great one. If that means I’ll be strapped for cash, or even homeless, so be it.
All I want from my life, is to tell stories that affect people. I don’t want to be anything, but a storyteller. I know that becoming an accountant, or a doctor, or even a teacher are safer routes, but I know I wouldn’t be happy. I hear so many stories about people who worked on wall street for years, and hated it, and then they crack, and finally quit, to pursue their dreams. I want to skip those years of unhappiness, working somewhere safe. I want to go all-in, bet everything on my dreams. I could fail, and statistically even if I make it in the business, I won’t make a lot of money, or have a lot of job security. That doesn’t matter to me. The story does, above all else.
I don’t expect my dreams to just happen without any effort on my part though. The main problem of not having a back up, is that you don’t have a back up. I can’t say, ‘oh well, even if this doesn’t pan out, at least I have ‘blank”, which is scary. If I don’t succeed in this, I have nothing else to go to. It’s a double edge sword. It inspires my drive(which I have a lack of in all other things), but it also causes me to not focus on anything else. I don’t work hard in school, I don’t push myself at work, I don’t try to gain any footholds in anything that won’t help me become a storyteller.
I remember being a kid, and having all these dreams. They changed a lot of course, but not like other kids. My dreams always stayed in the realm of outlandishness. I noticed, as we all got older, their dreams all became more grounded, easily obtainable goals. Astronaut to artist to engineer to architect to foreman to construction worker. Now, I’m not saying becoming a construction worker isn’t a valid dream, I’m just saying that it’s a lot easier to become that than an astronaut. It seems that, as we get older, we become more and more okay with settling.
Fuck that. I refuse to settle, I refuse to be okay with anything besides storyteller. I will put all of my energy into it, I will keep myself open to things, but the only thing I will ever be in this life, is a storyteller. You will not see me as an accountant, radiologist, masseur, or any job that doesn’t tell stories. I thrive off of no back up plan, because it means I have to put everything I have into this. There is no backing down, it’s all or nothing.
Maybe we should teach kids, that they don’t need a back up plan, to pursue things with an all or nothing attitude. Yes, it’s hard, yes, it’s unlikely that your dreams will come true. But, that idea would breed a society of go-getters, innovators, and people who think outside of the box. Which is something this country desperately needs to compete with the rest of the world. You have one life, don’t settle.